


Shiro: An Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

by Horizonholds



Series: Paladins: Owners' Guide and Maintenance Manual [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, No Plot/Plotless, Other, what is this I don't even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horizonholds/pseuds/Horizonholds
Summary: Congratulations on the purchase of your very own Takashi Shirogane, otherwise known as “Shiro.” This manual will provide you with all the information you need on the proper use and maintenance of your Black Paladin of Voltron, so he can continue saving the galaxy and being perfect for years to come.





	1. Chapter 1

Congratulations on the purchase of your very own Takashi Shirogane, otherwise known as “Shiro.” This manual will provide you with all the information you need on the proper use and maintenance of your Black Paladin of Voltron, so he can continue ~~saving the galaxy and~~ ~~trying to be a good parent, combating his PSTD,~~ avoiding being groped by strangers being perfect for years to come.

### Specifications

  * **Model** : #000000_BlackPaladin_2016
  * **Manufacturer** : Dreamworks-World Events, Subdivision Mir
  * **Manufacture Date** : 2016
  * **Operating System** : VoltronLegendaryDefenderSeason2_2016
  * **Species** : Human
  * **Hair Color:** Black & White
  * ****Eye Color:** Gray**
  * **Height** : 6’2
  * **Weight** : 180 lbs
  * **Length** : User discretion advised
  * **Birthday** : February 29
  * **Age** : 20



### Accessories

  * One (1) Black Lion of Voltron. This is the largest Lion currently available, make sure you have plenty of parking space.
  * One (1) Set of Voltron armor
  * One (1) slave outfit. You may want to burn this.
  * One (1) Galra-manufactured arm, which comes attached and cannot be removed.



### Unpacking and Installation

Your Shiro will arrive in one of three ways:

  * A shuttle will crash in your front lawn. We are not responsible for damages.
  * A shuttle will crash in the middle of the desert and you’ll need to retrieve him from agents of the Garrison. Having other Paladin models on hand - especially Keith - will be helpful in this endeavor.
  * Out of a wormhole while flying in blue lion of Voltron. Figure eights, barrel rolls, and other acrobatics may be present while Lance showboats. This method of arrival is most common if you’ve purchased the Paladin Box Set, as a Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro model will all be present. If you did not purchase the Paladin Box Set, please return your extra Paladins.



After removing Shiro from his packaging, he will try to warn you about an impending attack by the Garla empire. No matter what you do, _do not_ attempt to restrain him during this time. He will calm down eventually, having a Keith or Pidge model on hand will help. Once Shiro is sufficiently calm, we recommend bathing him and oiling him up to ensure he’s in proper working order. All Shiro’s come with a default of ‘slightly battle worn,’ so some scarring is not unusual.

**Warning** : If you have a significant other, it is probably for the best that you unpackage and clean your Shiro when they are not home. They may try and take him from you.

### Uses

In addition to being an impressive example of earth’s finest in male masculinity, leadership, and all-round-badassery, Shiro excels in many different functions:

  * **Paladin of Voltron** : Of the VoltronLD line, Shiro is considered the most advanced model for close combat and piloting, and is well known for his ability to get the other Paladin models in line.
  * **Space Dad** **Babysitter/Nanny** : Despite his impressive appearance, Shiro is excellent at keeping an eye on children, even those of the teenage variety. While his housekeeping skills are not exactly up to par, he is great at keeping youngsters on task with their homework, chores, and other required extracurriculars.
  * **Athletic Coordinator** : Shiro is well known for his strength and stamina, and as a Paladin of Voltron he enjoys a lot of exercise. This includes combat practice, running, swimming, hiking, and extensive bedspring testing.



### Care and Maintenance

While extremely skilled, Shiro is also known for being the most difficult of the VoltronLD line to properly care for. This is largely because he’s unlikely to let you do so, and he comes with some unusual care requirements.

As is normal, Shiro will require regular feedings to function properly. It may be tempting to have him on a diet of fruit and flavored body oil, but he does require a lot of vegetables and proteins to maintain his health. Recommended foods also include jasmine rice, bananas, fish, or anything with high concentrations of vitamin B6, and chamomile tea.

As you may have gathered from his feeding recommendations, Shiro has a hard time falling and staying asleep, regardless of how much he may have exerted himself while attending to you. It’s recommended that he get at least six hours of sleep daily, but left to his own devices, he may get as little as three. Frequent napping through the day has been reported to help.

One of the reasons Shiro sleeps so poorly is his PSTD. If it’s within your budget, we recommend a therapist. We strongly recommend doing some reading on assisting someone who is suffering from PSTD, as the scope of this line of care is beyond what this manual can contain.

Shiro is self-cleaning, but you may want to help him anyway. Pay special attention to his Galra-arm, to ensure nothing is stuck in the joints. It does not require any special lubrication, however.

### Compatibility With Other Models

  * **Pidge** : (VoltronLD Line) Shiro takes an older-brother mentality with Pidge, and is one of the few who can get her to tone down her edges when she’s feeling agitated. While Pidge is considerably younger, Shiro does not treat her  like a child, which helps them get along immensely. If you have a Pidge who is not responding well to commands, the introduction of a Shiro will help her course-correct. Pidge has been known to try and take apart Shiro’s Galra-arm. _Do not let her do this_.
  * **Lance** : (VoltronLD Line) Lance and Shiro have not often been observed alone, but initial reports have been promising. Lance has been recorded as saying Shiro is his hero, and Shiro’s level headedness generally ensures Lance doesn’t go too far off the rails. Lance does show considerable improvement in drive and focus around a Shiro, while Shiro will show fewer signs of stress around Lance, as Lance seems to keep Shiro in the present. If you tell your Lance that Shiro likes memes, the results are hilarious. And endless, don’t do that unless you’re willing to tolerate endless memes from Lance until the end of time. It does wonders for Shiro’s disposition, but it may test your patience.
  * **Keith** : (VoltronLD Line) Keith is another model that Shiro takes an older-brother approach to, and the two have been recorded as trusting each other implicitly. Shiro is one of the few people Keith will automatically defer to, which can be a relief for owners who get tired of trying to reign Keith in. However, the Season2 upgrade in Shiro can cause anxiety for Keith, as Shiro will start trying to groom Keith to be his successor. To avoid this, you’ll need to roll back to the Season1 software package.
  * **Hunk** : (VoltronLD Line) Hunk is a good model to have on hand to ensure that Shiro eats appropriately. Shiro is self-feeding, but Hunk will make sure Shiro eats _well_ and not just the bare minimum he needs to function. Shiro helps tone down some of Hunk’s nervousness. You won’t have to worry about any drama.
  * **Coran** : (VoltronLD Line) Coran and Shiro have a fairly perplexing relationship. Shiro will be endlessly puzzled by Coran’s behavior (to be fair you probably will be too), and Coran seems to take a great deal of enjoyment in teasing Shiro and being as confusing as possible. It can be a bit odd at first to watch someone try to parent Shiro, especially someone as quirky as Coran. Expect a lot of Dad Jokes from Coran and Shiro becoming increasingly exasperated and resigned over time.
  * **Allura** : (VoltronLD Line) It’s not unusual to see Allura and Shiro argue, but this tends to arise more from concern about the other’s well being and occasional differences of opinion, rather than hostility. The arguments usually resolve themselves peacefully and otherwise these two get along extremely well. If Shiro ever defers to someone else, it’s usually Allura. (Allura can bench press Shiro. Have her do this sometime. Shiro’s expression when she does this is hilarious.)



 

  * **All Galra Empire Models** : No positive interaction between the Garla empire models and any models from the VoltronLD line have been recorded under factory settings, as the models were designed to be incompatible. Expect damage to occur to all models if kept under one household. _Do not keep Galra models under the same roof as Voltron models. This will void your warranty due to avoidable damage caused by improper use_. This line includes but is not limited to: Zarkon, Zendak, Prorok, Morvok, Throk, Haxus, and Lotor.
  * **Haggar** : While Shiro is not programmed to get along with any Galra Empire model, he has especially bad reactions to Haggar, occasionally resulting in a BSOD error upon contact. Do _not_ keep these two in the same household.



### FAQ

**Q** : My Shiro is missing his bayard. / Does my Shiro come with a bayard? / Can I order a black bayard separately?

**A** : At this time, Shiro does not include the black bayard accessory. Instead, the prosthetic Galra arm has been provided. The black bayard cannot be purchased separately and at this time is only available with purchase of a Zarkon. If you’ve not read the disclaimer about compatibility problems with Galra Empire models, you should be aware that keeping Zarkon and Shiro under the same roof is a recipe for disaster and our lawyers have informed us that we are not responsible for any damages to life, limb, property, or mental distress. Doing so also voids your warranty and we will not replace damaged units.

 

**Q** : My Shiro does not have a metal arm, scars, and lacks the Galra prosthetic. Did I get the right model?

**A** : If your Shiro came accompanied by a Matt Holt and Sam Holt model, you may have received a rare (as in: discontinued) model. Your Shiro will lack the combat experience that the model is well known for, but will also lack some of the software glitches (PSTD) as well. A software update will restore combat functions but also, unfortunately, the PSTD.

 

**Q** : You guys sent me Spider Man from the SpectacularSpiderMan line.

**A** : Why are you complaining? If you want to return the Spider Man, please contact Customer Support.

 

**Q** : After the release of the Season2Ep13 patch, my Shiro has gone into permanent standby mode. What can I do to reactivate him? Did I install it incorrectly?

**A** : Unfortunately, that patch causes this reaction in Shiro models. We’re looking to have a future patch fix this sometime in the Season3 patch runtime, but until then your best option is to rollback to one of the earlier Season2 patches.

**Q** : Shiro is yelling at nothing, and occasionally destroying furniture. What should I do?

**A** : These are two possible causes of this:

  1. Shiro is having a PSTD episode. Sit down with him, reassure him, and it will pass eventually. As was mentioned in the Care and Maintenance section, you will want to do some reading on the care of someone who has PSTD or is experiencing an episode.
  2. You put him in the same household as a GalraEmpire model even though we _told_ you not to do that. (See the Compatibility with Other Models section). If you have a Haggar model, your Shiro is likely now damaged and needs to be sent in for repair or replacement. Remove any GalraEmpire models from your home _immediately_.



 

**Q** : The neighbor’s Lance and/or Keith keep trying to kidnap Shiro.

**A** : Unfortunately, this is an inherent function of those models. They will keep trying to do this until they’re convinced that Shiro isn’t being held against his will. You may need to have a talk with their owners about this.

 

**Q** : The Galra arm keeps making weird sound effects, or is doing something else unexpected. What happened? Is it malfunctioning?

**A** : You let Pidge tinker with the arm. On its own, the Galra arm prosthetic has not shown any signs of malfunction as a result of programming or entropy. You’ll need to send your Shiro in for a rest on the arm’s software, and keep your Pidge from tinkering with it in the future.

### Aftermarket Tampering

This guide covers the default specifications of Shiro, which do _not_ include Shipping settings. Downloading Shipping settings from third party vendors voids the warranty and we will charge for any repairs to software or hardware that occur as a result of unauthorized modifications to your Shiro.


	2. Season 3 Patch Notes

Those of you who have already downloaded the Season3 patch will notice some changes involving your Shiro. The major updates include:

  * Shiro is no longer the pilot of the black lion of Voltron. Since the Keith model has been migrated to being the pilot of the black lion, Shiro will not be able to pilot it.
  * Shiro’s haircut has changed. Depending on what episode you decided to patch your Shiro model up to, his hair may be significantly longer, or significantly shorter than normal.
  * Models that were bricked by the final Season2 patch should be operational now.



FAQ

**Q** : My Shiro continues to be unresponsive after the Season3 patch update.

**A** :  ~~ Janice you don’t pay me enough to be the bearer of bad news no i’m no drunk janic your drunk ~~ Please contact customer support to ensure your Season3 patch has been properly installed. 

 

**Q** : Something just seems off about my Shiro. It’s gotten creepy.

**A** :  ~~ I don’t know what’s wrong with him guys are you sure the patch was for Shiro no dave your the development team don’t ignore me ~~ Please contact customer support to ensure your Season3 patch has been properly installed. Or, you may wish to roll back to the early Season2 patch.  ~~ Seriously dave we can’t keep telling people to stick to the season2 episode 3 patch wth why isn’t this fixed yet no i will not calm down i’m the one who gets held accountable by the customers for this  ~~

 

**Q** : Is there any plan to reinstate Shiro as the paladin of the black lion in the Season4 patch?

**A** :  ~~ why don’t you ask the idiots in development i don’t know ~~ I cannot claim that Shiro will be reinstated as the paladin of the black lion with the season4 patch.


	3. Chapter 3

We’re pleased to announce that the Season4 patch for Shiro restores many previously missing or buggy features!  ~~ Finally ~~ ~~.~~ Shiro will be able to resume Piloting the Black Lion of Voltron  ~~ because Keith’s update messed him up instead ~~ and can resume leading Voltron with this update. Newly purchased Shiro’s also come with one (1) new, Extremely Tight Shirt.  ~~ Seriously, Craig? This is what you guys came up with? ~~

###  Compatibility With Other Models

  * **Keith** : (Voltron LD)  Keith and Shiro’s relationship has become a bit strained, with Keith exhibiting passive-aggressive if not downright defiant interactions with Shiro, and Shiro being especially short tempered in return. Things will smooth over once Shiro accepts he can’t shove Keith back into the black lion and expect it to work.



###  FAQ For Season 4 Patch

**Q** : What form does Shiro’s bayard take? We haven’t seen him use it.

**A** :  ~~ … Uh. Craig, what form  _ does _ this thing take? ~~

 

**Q** : Shipping?

**A** : Still no shipping.

 

**Q** : Does Shiro come with a sing function? 

**Q** : Are there any plans to include a sing function in future updates?

**A** : Shiro does not currently sing, and in fact tends to be very awkward on stage. There are no current plans to include a “sing” function. 


	4. Patch 5 & 6

~~BOI. By the eternal flame I am going to kill someone.And by someone I mean you, Craig. You guys in development have ONE JOB.~~

We are aware that Shiro has developed some new bugs with the last two software patches, but it is our hope that this will be the last of the bug-related fixes and going forward, we will be releasing functionality increases and compatibility tweaks. We’d like to thank you all for your patience, and reassure you all that those of you who have patched Shiro to his Season Six, Episode 7 software should notice a sharp drop in issues. However, unless you already own an Allura or know someone who does, many of you may need to ship your Shiro’s in so our technicians can apply the patch. Please contact customer support if you need to ship your Shiro back for updates. Note that this patch is irreversible and your Shiro will not be able to be rolled back to an earlier software patch after application.

 **Q** : Shiro is complaining of headaches and not feeling like himself. What should I do?  
**Q** : Shiro is snapping at Lance much more harshly than usual, what’s wrong?  
**Q** : Shiro is helping Lotor by showing off the Black Lion to Lotor’s friends.  
**Q** : SHIRO IS ATTACKING KEITH WTF?  
**A** : This is predominantly caused by a form of software corruption typically brought on by the vicinity of a Haggar model. This software, dubed, “Kuron,” can be overwritten either with assistance from Allura, or by sending Shiro back (free of charge) so our technicians can apply the patch.  
Warning: Lotor may insist he can do this. Lotor is a liar.

 **Q** : Why is Shiro’s hair completely white?  
**A** : This is a flag that signals a Shiro who has had the Season Six Episode 7 patch applied. This cannot be undone.

 **Q** : Shiro has gotten really into D&D lately and really wants to play a paladin all the time.  
**A** : He may have been exposed to a Coran model recently. This is largely harmless.

 **Q** : DOES SHIRO HAVE A BOYFRIEND?  
**Q** : CAN SHIRO NOW DATE ME/KEITH/LANCE/HUNK/LOTOR/ect  
**A** : ~~WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT LISTENING TO MARKETING?~~ We can neither confirm nor deny any shipping settings.

 **Q** : What weapon does Shiro’s bayard form?  
**A** : … We still don’t know. ~~I'm wondering this myself.~~

 **Q** : Will Shiro be getting a new arm?  
 **A** : ~~... iunno.~~ It's unclear at this time.


End file.
